Manufactured with intent

The stone cuts through the air

Like the hooded axe

Finding its target waiting

To welcome it with a shroud of dark red

Staining its pearl white exterior

Forever with the memory

Of a black box that conceals

Why “There’s always been a lottery”

 

 

Based on “The Lottery” by Shirley Jackson

Barrel on Andy’s General Store roof

Dusty gray hat protrudes from horse trough on the left

Half a face in Bob’s Barber Shop window

Spurs clink in the corral behind me

Smell of whiskey blows from under the walkway on the right

The man I’ve been searching for stands twenty paces ahead

 

An anxious look shadows his expression

Fear perhaps

Doesn’t matter

Today he dies

One less bastard polluting the world

One more demon put to rest

 

Dust whirls like a tiny twister across the road

Beads of sweat roll down my jaw

Heat radiates from the Colt at my side

Eagerness runs through my hand

Urging it to seize the six shooter

To let loose hell

 

High noon

 

Andy’s sign drips with blood

A gray hat floats in the trough

Bob’s window blankets the ground

Silence falls on the corral

Dirt masks the stench under the walkway

Disbelief twists the man’s face

 

A thin red line trickles down his forehead

Ending in a crimson tear

Dirt rises as he hits the ground

Blood begins to pool around his head

I holster my only friend and look up

The clock finishes its chime six seconds too late

Gather your strength warriors of the Crest

Take your place at my side

Steadfast we stand against the west

The evil to be tried

 

Lose our lives we may upon this day

To the battle that ensues

Glory is held in store for those that may

Stand strong, Stand firm, Stand true

 

Think no more of death my valiant friends

Our light still remains

Think of only standing, days end

Freedom from our chains

 

So rise my brothers to war we ride

With sword and spear in hand

Toward our fate with battle cries

Across this broken land

 

Stare down our enemy, heads held high

Strike fear into their souls

Cut them down like Death’s own scythe

Men to wretched ghouls

 

Bury the battle beneath their dead

Let blood stained fields be found

All the treachery, lies and evil they spread

With them be in the ground

 

For on this day our legend to be

Begins to unfold

Let it ring throughout eternity

Each time our deaths retold

 

The pair of incisions have finally stopped bleeding,

but the pain is rising.

I can feel the venom wind its way through my veins,

its flow as fierce as a river of lava

slowly making its way through a village

consuming everything in its path.

My insides roar,

a combination of white fire and black ice.

The vicious venom finally makes it to my heart,

my body lurches violently.

 

The toxin taints my heart

now beckoning it to spread the infestation.

Faster and faster it takes over my body

coursing throughout

leaving a dark pain in its paralyzing wake.

 

Tears begin to stream down my face

As I feel my lungs shut down.

“This can’t be it!”

I scream in silence.

No life flashing before my eyes,

no last memories to comfort a dying man.

Pain chokes my mind,

Prevents comfort from finding me.

 

A gust of wind whirls through the forest

swaying the trees in mock laughter

as darkness drifts inward

from the corners of my eyes.

 

The world fades to black,

only a shadow of pain remains.

Emptiness takes over,

All fear is swept away into nothingness.

A chill surges through my body,

The paralysis dissolves.

 

It opens its eyes to the night,

a horrific power now shrouds its body.

The creature gradually stands

testing its new strength.

Wind tosses its hair

as it searches the night

 

 

not with its pale blue eyes,

but with its nose.

 

I am fading,

fading away,

soon there will be nothing of me,

nothing left inside my former shell,

nothing but the Hunger.

As a boy I dreamed

Of leaving this world behind.

Of voyaging through countless galaxies, to find a new home.

Of soaring high, among the clouds.

Of sailing the seven seas in search of riches and fame.

Of diving beneath the ocean’s surface.

Of venturing into the dark depths of the unknown.

Of lighting a torch in the underground tomb.

Of racing amid abandoned ruins of ancient worlds.

Of battling alongside valiant knights of legend.

Of striking down the malevolent dragon.

Of rescuing the princess, in her tower of despair.

Of swinging vine to vine, just above snapping jaws.

Of staring down, soulless, pale eyes in the dead of night.

Of drawing my trusty six shooter at high noon.

Of entrancing thousands, guitar in hand.

Of raising my fist to the heavens, to unleash the power within.

“Ah look at the time; I need to get back to my place,” I said rolling off the bed in search of my shoes.

“Are you sure? You’ve been up all night, you could just sleep here until your class,” Mandy yawned.

I stretched and shook my head, “I need to shower so I can wake up.”

Mandy caught my arm on my way out, “Van, please don’t go. Just stay here with me.”

“I can’t,” I replied shaking my head, “I’ll call you tomorrow, I promise.” She was upset by the way she looked at me, but I pulled her hand off my arm and bent to kiss her, “bye.”

The ice on the car door took several moments to pull loose. I sat down in the seat shivering from the cold.

“Well at least I won’t be able to fall asleep with this cold,” I thought to myself.

Even with the windows down and music up, staying awake became harder and harder with every passing minute.

The snow started falling a few minutes after I had left Mandy’s house. At first it was slow and steady, but over time it started to pick up until it was hard to see. “Only five miles,” I thought out loud straining to see out the windshield. As I took a curve, the sun broke over the horizon and bounced off the white snow blinding me. I could feel the tires hit the ice and send my car into a spin. Panicking, I whipped the wheel around and tried to straighten out it. The car had straightened out for a moment when I saw him, a young kid walking across the road pulling a sled. “Jimmy! No!” I shouted as I slammed on the brakes and jerked my steering wheel. The car spun just enough to give me a full view of the Jimmy’s terrified face. The car jolted forward, everything went black.

I could barely make out the words, “coming to.” The voice sounded unfamiliar and distant. I strained to open my eyes. It was all white light slowly fading back into reality. I rubbed my eyes and blinked a few times before the image of the hospital room appeared. Why was I in a hospital room? All the memories suddenly rushed back into my head.

“Is he alright!” I shouted. A look of confusion swept across the nurse’s face. The man sitting in a chair slowly stood up with a look of knowing on his.

“Dad?” I asked.

“You need your rest,” is all he said.

“Tell me, I know you know!” I said, but I already knew the answer before the words left my father’s lips.

“He didn’t make it.”

My heart felt like it was ripped from my chest. I couldn’t breathe. I could hear the nurse fussing in the background about lying back down and resting. It didn’t matter; the world was over for me.

It had been four weeks since the hospital had released me, nothing had changed. The hearing had concluded that there was nothing I could have done to prevent the accident, but the look on the Jimmy’s parents’ faces were more condemning than a judge’s sentence could have ever been. I deserved the worse they could give me. I deserved to die.

My family was worried. It didn’t matter. I had stopped talking to any of my friends, most of all Mandy. They just didn’t understand. They had no idea what it felt like to be a murderer. My world was shattered on that day, all my hopes and dreams meaningless. The only thing I had left was to wait to die. I deserved to die.

The hours I spent in the shrink’s office were wasted money. She was an idiot and I just didn’t care. She was helping produce a new emotion I hadn’t felt since the accident, annoyance. Eventually I started to make her believe I was making progress. It was the best way to shut her up.

Three months passed, but the emptiness remained. My new mask of happiness had been set in stone. I had gotten so good at acting happy that even I almost believed it myself. The nights told me different. The image of his face was permanently burned into my memory. I couldn’t escape the terror in his eyes. It haunted me while I slept as much as it did while I was awake.

Six months passed, still the same. The family finally thought I was alright. The shrink believed I was cured. They had no idea. I couldn’t take it anymore, I had to get out. I had to pay my debt to Jimmy. Quick and clean, that’s the way to end it, the less mess for my family to deal with the better. It had to be something that didn’t take away my families’ chance at a last goodbye, sleeping pills was the best way to do it.

The phone rang three times before Allen answered, “yeah?”

“Hey man can I get some of those sleeping pills you were telling me about? My dreams are messing with me again.”

“Yea man, no problem. When you want them?” Allen asked.

“Tomorrow,” I said impatiently, I just wanted to get this over.

“Alright man, call me, peace,” Allen said hanging up the phone.

I lied back on my bed, one more night of unrest. I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep.

I woke the next morning feeling more rested than I had in months. It seemed that my resignation brought me peace, another thing that had been gone for a long time.

The smile on my face as I sat down to breakfast with my family was real. I felt great. I finished my meal fast. Before I left for class I walked over to my mom and gave her a kiss on her cheek, “love you mom.”

She smiled, “I love you too. Have a good day.”

I hopped in my new car and called Allen up, “hey man can you meet?”

“Yea I’ll be at the church parking lot in twenty minutes. See you there.”

I had twenty minutes to kill. A nice smoothie sounded like a great idea.

I pulled in our church parking lot twenty minutes later with my smoothie, enjoying the blend of chocolate, strawberries, and bananas. Usually I would be mindful of spending eight bucks on a smoothie, but today nothing mattered.

“Yo! How’s it goin’ man?” I shouted getting out of my car.

“You seem cheery today,” Allen responded in more of a question than a statement.

“It’s a beautiful day, why wouldn’t I be cheery,” I smiled and shook his hand, “how much was it again?”

“Twenty for ten,” Allen said. It was obvious that I was weirding him out, but I didn’t care, it was a great day.

I pulled out a twenty and handed it to him, “here you go man.”

“Thanks, I gotta run though, hopefully those things will help.”

“Oh I’m sure they will,” I said getting into my car. He had no idea how well they would work.

I called Mandy on the way home and asked if I could see her. We met at the town’s park.

She was smiling as she got out of her car, “hey.”

“Hey kid, how are you?”

Mandy laughed, “Well pretty crappy to be honest, that is until you called.” She blushed.

I smiled and hugged her. She held on tight as if she’d never let go. “It’s okay I’m here for now.”

We walked around the lake in the center of the park. I held on to her hand as she kept stealing searching glances up at me. “What’s wrong?” I asked as we neared a bench beside the lake.

She let go of my hand and sat down on the bench, “Are you okay? Really okay?”

I sat down beside her, “Mandy, I’m finally at peace, I promise.”

It seemed to be enough for her. She took up my hand again and set her head down on my shoulder. She sighed a breath of relief.

I knew it was going to hurt her, but it was better this way. This way I couldn’t hurt anyone else, ever. I laid my head back and stared up at the clouds. It really was a beautiful day, almost poetic. I closed my eyes and let my face soak up the sun.

We didn’t say much of anything that afternoon. We didn’t need to, I was at peace and she was happy. By the time we left the sky had become bright shades of pink and orange.

She hugged me, “I missed you.”

“I missed you too, good bye Mandy,” I said holding her for the last time.

She smiled, “Bye Van.”

Dinner with my family was hard that night, I wanted to say good bye. I played my part well, the happy son that had overcome a great tragedy. Eventually it was too much and I had to leave the table. I kissed my mom good night and hugged my dad, I even gave my little sister a friendly pat on the head.

It was time, time to face my own judgment. One last thing was needed, a goodbye note:

Dear Mom and Dad,

You’ve probably figured out by now that I’m gone. I’m sorry but I had to do it. I tried to be a good son these last few months, but now it’s time I pay my due. I feel bad that you will have to pay for my funeral costs, but hopefully the money I have saved up in the bank will help. Well, I won’t take up anymore of your time. I’d say I’ll see you again one day, but we know that’s not going to happen.

I love you more than you could know,

Van

I put the letter down on the desk and picked up the little bottle of pills. I went over to my bed and lay down. With the bottle in my hand I prayed the Lord’s Prayer to make my parents proud. I finished the prayer and tipped the bottle back into my mouth. I swallowed the pills and lay my head down for the last time.

I vaguely remember my dad coming into the room only moments after I had taken the pills. It was like watching from a distance. He was rushing to the bed yelling my name. Everything faded to white.

I opened my eyes. It was so bright. Everything around me was solid white. I could see a shape in the distance standing black against the white. I felt drawn to it. My steps were awkward at first, the ground seemed solid but it was hard to tell if it was really there. I made my way across the plain of white. I drew nearer and nearer to the shape. Finally, squinting my eyes I could make out what the shape was, a little boy. “Oh God,” I thought out loud. I ran until my lungs felt like they were on fire. I was ten feet away from a little boy dressed in winter clothes and holding a sled. “Jimmy?” I asked, my eyes filling up with tears.

“Hey Van,” he replied with a smile.

“Jimmy I’m so sorry I never meant to hurt you, I never meant for it to happen,” the tears were coming faster. “If only I had stayed a few more minutes at Mandy’s none of this would have happened. If only…”

I couldn’t look him in the eyes. My heart was broken. Is this really my hell? Am I doomed to have to look upon the face I killed for eternity? “No,” Jimmy said as if in a response to my thoughts.

“What?” I asked in confusion.

“No, this isn’t hell and this isn’t your punishment,” Jimmy replied.

“But I’m dead,” I was even more confused.

“Not yet,” he said, I could hear the comforting tone in his voice. He reached up and grabbed my hand, it was warm. None of this made sense, how was I not dead? Why was he trying to comfort me?

Jimmy looked up at me; I couldn’t stop myself from looking at him now, “Why did you try to kill yourself Van?”

I tore my eyes away from his face, “I didn’t deserve to live, not after what I did to you.”

“Why?” Jimmy asked.

“Because I, I killed you Jimmy, I killed you.”

“Is this what you think I wanted to happen? For you to kill yourself?”

I couldn’t answer him. I could barely breathe. My mind was spinning out of control.

“Van, it was an accident, and you are my friend. I don’t want you to stop living because of guilt. It wasn’t your fault, it was nobody’s fault.” Jimmy was staring at me. It felt like he was looking into my soul, “you’re not a bad person Van, you’re a good person. You are a good person who has the rest of his life to do something great. Don’t waste it because of guilt. Don’t hate yourself. I don’t hate you.” The tears were uncontrollable; I sat down on the ground and just cried.

“I’m so sorry Jimmy, I promise to do something good with my life, to do something for you,” I forced out in between the sobs.

Jimmy placed his hand on my head, “I know you will, you’re a good friend.”

He was gone. I looked around for him but the white was fading to black.

When I opened my eyes again I was back in the hospital room. My family was crowded around the bed. My mom’s face was distorted with worry and drenched with tears. My dad’s looked like he had been doing his share of crying too. Even my sister looked sad. “I’m sorry,” it was all I could get out, my body felt numb.

My mom hugged me, “it’s okay sweetheart, it’s okay.”

From that day on, life looked up. I was at peace with what happened. Two years later, I have tried to live everyday to its fullest potential, not just for me, but for Jimmy.

just a story i found that i had written a while back for a class, thought i'd share

Hmm. This is a difficult one. I would have to say that my favorite was a duo. Why a duo you ask. Well its obvious... Home Alone 1 and 2, the greatest Christmas-ish movies ever made! And yea, I still love them.

Could we possibly get over the stupid questions about celebrities? Nobody cares... Well I suppose somebody does.

Ender's Game
Soon I Will Be Invincible
The Vampire Lestat
The Deathly Hallows
Alvin Maker

            Look at the old thing. The paints chipping, the foundation is rotting, I should probably fix it before the whole thing falls on me. Ah, who cares. It still has that old smell of oats and wet animals even though its been a good while since anything was in this old barn. Only thing in here now are junk and this old car. Don't even know why I bought the damn thing, should have known that it'd never get fixed.

            Looks like the roof is starting to decay too, guess I should come down here more often to at least repair some of this small stuff. Stupid rats, never would have had them back when Sparky sat at my heels. Day in and day out he would follow me as I fed the animals. I miss that old dog. Wonder what I left up in the loft. Guess I'll take a look.

            Whats that old matress doing up here? Probably some bum sleeping up here again. Need to fix that lock... more like replace the whole door with how rotted away its gotten. I'm gonna break my leg climbing down this good for nothing ladder. Looks like the damn termites got toit, why did God make the little bastards in the first place? They're not good for anything except to tear up stuff and waste my money.

            I should turn this place into something. Maybe a guest house or a real garage. I mean its just standing here takin' up space. Shit, I'd be better off just knockin' it down.

            Now that's a suprise I like, good old fashion whiskey. Mmm, still good. Hope this old chair don't fall apart and make me break my neck. Can't even remember why I walked all the way down here in the first place. Oh well. Not gonna remember much of anything here in a few minutes anyhow.

            Damn rats! I wish they'd shut the hell up. They're lucky I'm too lazy to get my shotgun. If I were to get my gun I'd might as well just stay there after walking half a mile. Ah screw it, this chair feels to good.

            Sure is gettin' chilly tonight, probably snow soon I'd guess. Church bells ringing already, it must be getting pretty late. Makes sense seeing as this bottle's almost empty. What's that chest over there? Shit its locked. Let's see how well that lock stands up to this bottle. Ah! Damn! Bad idea... Stupid lock, oh there's a key. There we go. Boots? Uniform? Damnit!

            John slammed the chest shut and kicked it. His hand still bleeding from the bottle breaking as he rummages around in a pile of junk. Finding a half filled container of kerosene, John walks around the barn slinging the kerosene all over the walls. He then walks over to the old 69' Mustang and pours the rest of the kerosene on the the hood and top of the car. Tossing the can behind his back he walks out of the barn. Turning his back he pulled out an old zippo with US Army stamped on the side. He lit it and tossed it into the barn. Staring at the fire slowly spread up the barn walls, he spat, turned around and headed back up the trail to his houlse with tears running down his cheeks.